Customer: I'm going to ask you a really stupid question.
Sales Associate Inner Monologue: How about you fucking don't.
Reality: Oh, go right ahead!
Customer: ....but this is less online.
SA: Then go buy it online and get the fuck out of my face.
Reality: Unfortunately we do sales and pricing separately from our online division.
Customer: HAHA sorry I know I'm just creating such a mess for you to clean up.
Reality: You're fine, don't worry about it!
Customer: Wow, it has no price tag...IT'S FREE.
SA: If I hear that joke one more time I'm going to slug someone in the jaw
Reality: [roaring laughter]
Customer: Why is everything here so expensive?
SA: If you ain't got no money take your broke ass home.
Reality: It's high quality product from a desired brand.
Customer: [continues taking about the prices]
SA: I. DON'T. SET. PRICES.
Foreign Customer: You have this hoodie medium?
SA: ...did you fucking see a medium?
Reality: Unfortunately, everything we have out on the floor is all we have right now.
Foreign customer: So hoodie in medium?
SA: ....did I fucking studder?
Reality: No, we do not have that hoodie in a medium. Everything we have out on the floor is all we have right now.
Foreign customer: Well I want hoodie in medium.
SA: let me fuKIng KNit tHAT FOR YOU
A donor heart beating in a mechanical system which keeps it warm, oxygenated, with nutrient enriched blood pumping through.
If I wasn’t straight, I’d never be single…
I like big burritos and I can not lie! #mojoburritos (at Mojo Burrito)
Anonymous asked: who am i then?
Anonymous asked: (anon with crush) yea do! you're really hot ;)
I believe I know who you are
Anonymous asked: i have such a crush on you